Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
