i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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