if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
