smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
