I'm jealous of your bromance
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
My balls are so social today.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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