You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
