Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Michael Bay diarrhea
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
