wrigley field is MILF paradise
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
