My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
worst night to have a conscience
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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