you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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