She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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