So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
