I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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