blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
