It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
