There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
