I don't think brook has ever known best
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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