Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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