I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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