You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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