did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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