I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
