This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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