We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
