everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I need moral support for this bender
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
