A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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