my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
