Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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