Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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