I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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