it was like his penis was on wheels.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
