As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
