quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
