If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
