Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
