Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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