Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
