PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
