Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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