I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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