Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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