You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
