So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
