i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
