I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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