dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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