About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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