Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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