As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
