so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
