If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
