How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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