she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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