He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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